Categories
rants

i surrender

i have been trying to breathe but it seems like there is no more fresh air to breathe, my lungs gasp. seeking for a fresh breath, fighting anxiety.yes, you are right-there is no need to fight and yet, i fight. i fight and fight and fight. it’s tiring to be this way to be honest, […]

Categories
rants

fighting instant gratification

i am not sure about the timeline, as in when this started but off late – for many many many years. this has been going on. these cycles of instant gratification. the cycle of constantly chasing something, constantly trying to be somewhere and fighting with your inner self. the cycles of instant gratifaction make me […]

Categories
poetry

i close my eyes

i close my eyes,and think about the placesi have not been to,the lakes,the mountains,the hills,the beaches i close my eyes,and think about the places,i have not been to,the lakes,the mountains,the hills,the beaches tanzim, i think of youand how we seldom talk toeach other, about each other –sometimes we do, sometimes i dotell about youto others […]

Categories
poetry

i said ugly words to mother

i said ugly words,to mother, tanzim, my heart was taken bystorm, by literallack of sleeps,the cracks, in myheart, became wide open,i was afraid while i ate my dinner,unheartedly, cooked unheartedly,mother cooked it tanzim, whathappened to her,why are we sobroken i said ugly wordsto mother, in summer

Categories
poetry

o’ dear tanzim

it has become ahabit now, tanzim,a very bad habit,i know, youare wondering –what am i talkingabout, wait –i know, i neverlet you speak,tanzim – o’ deartanzim – it takesso much courage,to just allow youto exist i will tellyou what mytherapist toldme once, she said“your locus of controlis external”,o’ dear tanzim,she was right i never listen,to […]

Categories
rants

on ayurveda & experiments

ever since i was a kid, i was drawn towards mysticism, towards ideas of consciousness, nirvana, spirituality and of historical wisdom which my ancestors have to offer. i have seen my dada ji (grandfather – i call him badepapa) using neem stick for brushing his teeth, drinking loki (bottlegourd) & karela (bittergourd) juice and honestly […]

Categories
poetry

a cup of chai

i sat with my family, my father and brother, with heavy heart, it’s been twenty, forty, i don’t know, how many days, since the lockdown, we sit with our dreamy eyes and hearts lit with passion, to do something, as we sit together, over a cup of chai, it’s only now that i’ve learnt- how […]

Categories
poetry

महंगे सपने | Expensive Dreams

दिल थोड़ा टूट-सा गया था,आज रात, घबराइए मत-अब इसे संभाल लिए है| थोड़ा-सा टूटा, थोड़ीआंख भर आईं,सच बताऊँ तो,थोड़ा रोने का मनतो अब भी है| ना जाने एकदर्द-सा है सीनेमें, थोड़ा बतानेकी कोशिश करी उन्हें-बस थोड़ा ही,शायद आज इसदर्द के साथ ही सोनाहोगा, अगर नींद आई तो-अपनेपुराने सपनों कोजो याद कर लियाथोड़ा-सा-यहसपने बहुत महंगे है।

Categories
tech

why i migrated from wordpress.com to amazon aws

last night, i finally completed migrating from wordpress.com to aws. i had set up my blog on wordpress.com in the year 2018 and before that i used to use blogger.com for my blog – the blog was called spilling the bright ink. if you enjoy writing, as much as i do and are looking for […]

Categories
javascript tech

lightbulb js

Just learning javascript So, friends what is javascript? From what I read on w3 schools, JavaScript helps in changing the behaviour of content on webpages. For example, if on a basic webpage i want to change content using the click of a button, i will use javascript. Now, let me show you some magic ON […]