day 4 [18th october 10:58 pm] – all i want

all i want is
all i need is
to find somebody

this evening i came across kodaline’s song high hopes and now, as i lay down and listen to all i want, it just feels the words which have been hidden in between spiralled thoughts and feelings come out alive, so simply in this song. right now, i love this song.

all i want is
all i need is
to find somebody
i’ll find somebody

i feel these sense of vagueness, an emptiness as if the context in which life was sprawling in the last couple of weeks has been taken away, a structure, a way of thinking/feeling has been taken away. i have felt this kind of emptiness, this kind of vagueness before, while letting go of people/places though, i could have never thought such a feeling could arise out of a piece of art, through fiction. a part of me feels that way after completing the eight season of house m.d. i am sure other factors like my immobility also add up to this feeling. its funny how in my writings i start to investigate my feelings. is there a need to investigate our feelings? should’nt we just surrender to our feelings?


i feel fat too [if fat is a feeling], feeling fat is feeling the curves on your body bending slinghtly more than usual, feeling fat is your tummy feeling like a bouncy cushion [it sounds cute, but its not hahaha]. the worst part about feeling fat is that your clothes start feeling small.


every night, as i am about to sleep so many lines rush to my mind, like poetry hidden in old college notebook. i will write down these lines.


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