I am twenty-two year old male, who has recently moved into a new city in the hope of being able to learn to be independent again, to lose the fears which have crawled up on my skin from living on one bed for almost a year and now have become tattoos which are difficult to erase.
And, today, this sunday morning, I am trying to contemplate about heartbreaks and how I can avoid them?
The truth is, I cannot. You cannot.
You cannot save yourself from a heartbreak, darling. Heartbreaks will happen, over and again and you will live even when you feel this is the end- you will live.
The last one year I have lived on a bed because I could not walk for a lot of months and the physical pain has almost become a part of my life now.
Interestingly, enduring physical pain for a lomg time teaches you a lot about emotional pain as well. Sometimes, the only way through heartbreaks is to live through them. To endure them. I guess this is in fact the case most of the times.
I am very afraid to write any further about heartbreaks. Heartbreaks hurt. Heartbreaks suck.
However, if we do allow ourselves to think beyond our personal selfs and devlve into the larger understanding of universe and scheme of things, you will learn that heartbreaks are only natural.
Heartbreaks are a consequence of our human existence.
From December 2017 to February 2019, I was living comfortably in a matchbox space. I was quite content with my solitude. Yes, there are definitely some negative effects of unvoluntarily solitude – Inactivity, lack of curiosity and..a few more.
And now, as I have moved out again. I am afraid. I am afraid to socialize. Because socialization leads to expectations and expectations lead to heartbreaks.
Of course, I cannot put this down as a formula and help you save yourself from a heartbreak.
Heartbreaks = (Expectations, Socialization)
I wish it was this simple. It’s not.
We all are so limited with our own perceptions that all our guesswork to understand other’s intention will also lead to heartbreaks.
Hahaha, damn these heartbreaks!
For now, let’s just live one at a time.