i feel abruptly empty at this hour in the night. its twelve am in the night and i feel tired, i want to sleep and not wake up to deal with another day of life.
everything seems so difficult, even just to breathe. i feel tired of living. i feel afraid to share this with anyone. how defeated i feel in front of everything that has become life. there has been some people, some people i was very close, to some who i am still close to, people who have found my rants, the inside of me as a pity party, as a means to gain sympathy. at times, i have found myself thinking like them, in their direction and wonder if that’s true?
is it? if someone asks me that question, i would just say that it’s life and it can happen to just anyone.
i cried today as well. i think i have been crying a lot in the past months. it feels good when i cry but i feel very scared.
my brain is running beyond its normal capacities. it always feels to be on overload mode. i am tired, i want to sleep but i dont wake up to live another day, in this helpless and defeated state of mind.