i am having a bad day today, okay, let’s say very bad day. something happened at work today and something upsets me. something is always my attachment. past two weeks have been happy, not content. but happy. happy is good. happy is overwhelming. it was my bestest friend’s birthday recently. i say bestest because it felt bestest that night. after so long, i felt happy. i thought of this line that night. i am not happy tonight. happy is overwhelming. i miss my black diary. i miss my friends. humans i could write to, speak to. you might think i am fucked up. i think i am fucked up. fucked upness, happiness, sadness – nothing stays. but when whateverness is happening, it gets overwhelming. sadness is happening tonight. i am watching it. i saw how it brought a storm within me throughout the day and how everything was filled with sparks of anger. i get angry within, i don’t get angry outside.